I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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