my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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