Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize