at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
