she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I will be naked everywhere
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
