try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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