An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have feelings that need drinking.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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