I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Shame is for Republicans.
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