I accidentally had phone sex last night
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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