Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
