he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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