the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize