We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Randomize
