I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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