Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
