Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
