I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
