Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
