I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
