i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
