Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
