If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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