Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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