Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
