Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
