So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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