dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
