So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
