That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
