Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize