Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
