yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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