Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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