WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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