fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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