yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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