is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
this boner is exhausting
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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