you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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