You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
