Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
