I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
