Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
