: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
