I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
