I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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