real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
