Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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