frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
