Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
