Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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