im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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