So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize