Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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