I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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