So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
