Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
