I wanna bring you to show and tell
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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