Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
