..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
