Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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