I must be too annoying 4 u.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
